“You get a strange feeling when you’re about to leave a place. Like you’ll not only miss the people you love but you’ll miss the person you are now at this time and this place, because you’ll never be this way ever again.”
— Azar Nafisi (via human-voices)
Showing posts with label philosophical contemplation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label philosophical contemplation. Show all posts
Leaving
Thought of the day
“Inexperience is a quality of the human condition. We are born one time only; we can never start a new life equipped with the experience we’ve gained from a previous one.— Milan Kundera
We leave childhood without knowing what youth is; we marry without knowing what it is to be married; and even when we enter old age, we don’t know what it is we’re heading for: The old are innocent children of their old age.
In that sense, man’s world is the planet of inexperience.”
Food for thought
Guy A: Communism is the end result of society where after a dicatorship of the working class the working class will work to acheive the common good and create a class-less and propertyless society.
Guy B: Yes but communism is a form of atheism.
Frozen hearts
I hate winter. I hate the cold. I've always been a summer type of person, being born on a sweltering April day.
Winter is just depressing. It's barren, devoid of greenery, lifeless and harsh. It serves practically no function at all, except propelling the world into a cycle of death and rebirth, soiling and cleansing, darkness and light. Which is a contradiction in itself.
Deep down inside I realize that the changing of seasons is a metaphor to life -- that change is inevitable, and life and death is constantly revolving. Perhaps, the laws of the world is governed by this concept. The rise and fall of the tides... Sunsets and sunrises... the waxing and waning of the moon... the evaporation of water and the fall of rain... The need to sleep and wake up... Everything has its own purpose in this world, even if we may not understand it.
So what does winter symbolize anyways? Maybe... A transition stage, for the world to prepare itself for the colourful spring? A time to rest before the cycle starts up again? They always say that the night is always the darkest before the break of dawn. Maybe that's why winter always preceeds spring -- death will inevitably lead to a new start, over and over again. Wounds will always heal, seasons will always change. Change is constant.
I've been stuck in the winter phase for a long time now. When will my spring arrive?
Oh, it will arrive, as certain as the sun rising in the east and snow melting into spring.
The question is... when?
Winter is just depressing. It's barren, devoid of greenery, lifeless and harsh. It serves practically no function at all, except propelling the world into a cycle of death and rebirth, soiling and cleansing, darkness and light. Which is a contradiction in itself.
Deep down inside I realize that the changing of seasons is a metaphor to life -- that change is inevitable, and life and death is constantly revolving. Perhaps, the laws of the world is governed by this concept. The rise and fall of the tides... Sunsets and sunrises... the waxing and waning of the moon... the evaporation of water and the fall of rain... The need to sleep and wake up... Everything has its own purpose in this world, even if we may not understand it.
So what does winter symbolize anyways? Maybe... A transition stage, for the world to prepare itself for the colourful spring? A time to rest before the cycle starts up again? They always say that the night is always the darkest before the break of dawn. Maybe that's why winter always preceeds spring -- death will inevitably lead to a new start, over and over again. Wounds will always heal, seasons will always change. Change is constant.
I've been stuck in the winter phase for a long time now. When will my spring arrive?
Oh, it will arrive, as certain as the sun rising in the east and snow melting into spring.
The question is... when?
I wish
It's not fun being a hypocrite. I apologize (to no one in particular). I haven't been this way for a long time, and I wish I'd left that behind a long time ago.
Sometimes I wish people can see beyond the first impressions and constructed stories and actually look at both sides of the fence. I believe there's no such thing as 'true' truth. Truth is cold, with no compassion or empathy for any living thing. Real people are steeped in both light and dark -- so you can't easily categorize them as either good or evil.
For example, you have two books. The first book has one-dimensional characters -- the hero is good, the heroine is kind, the villian is evil. You have absolutely no emotional investment in any of these people -- so you're happy when the villian dies and the hero wins.
Then you read the second book. The characters are the same, but their personalities and stories are fleshed out a bit more than the first book. The hero is still good -- a cop. But he cheats on his wife for the younger, more attractive heroine. The heroine is still kind, but has a dark past that she wants to leave behind. And the villian is still evil, but we find out the reason for that -- he was wrongly accused for murder by the cop hero, and is out to seek revenge.
It's a wonder how different the story becomes even with the same characters. But here's the thing -- would you like the first hero, or the second one? The boring unrealistic one, or the sympathetic one with real human flaws?
It's the same with humans. No one is purely good, nor purely bad. Flaws are a celebration of humanity. So while you gossip about another person's flaws, you're just forgetting that you have flaws too.
Don't talk about being disgusted about your friends cheating on their girlfriends if you've done it before too. Don't talk about that 'sombong' girl in class if you're sombong too. And I wish I don't talk about hypocrites when I'm a hypocrite too.
I'll try to be a better person, insyallah.
Sometimes I wish people can see beyond the first impressions and constructed stories and actually look at both sides of the fence. I believe there's no such thing as 'true' truth. Truth is cold, with no compassion or empathy for any living thing. Real people are steeped in both light and dark -- so you can't easily categorize them as either good or evil.
For example, you have two books. The first book has one-dimensional characters -- the hero is good, the heroine is kind, the villian is evil. You have absolutely no emotional investment in any of these people -- so you're happy when the villian dies and the hero wins.
Then you read the second book. The characters are the same, but their personalities and stories are fleshed out a bit more than the first book. The hero is still good -- a cop. But he cheats on his wife for the younger, more attractive heroine. The heroine is still kind, but has a dark past that she wants to leave behind. And the villian is still evil, but we find out the reason for that -- he was wrongly accused for murder by the cop hero, and is out to seek revenge.
It's a wonder how different the story becomes even with the same characters. But here's the thing -- would you like the first hero, or the second one? The boring unrealistic one, or the sympathetic one with real human flaws?
It's the same with humans. No one is purely good, nor purely bad. Flaws are a celebration of humanity. So while you gossip about another person's flaws, you're just forgetting that you have flaws too.
Don't talk about being disgusted about your friends cheating on their girlfriends if you've done it before too. Don't talk about that 'sombong' girl in class if you're sombong too. And I wish I don't talk about hypocrites when I'm a hypocrite too.
I'll try to be a better person, insyallah.
Got this off someone's blog
"If you have food in the fridge, clothes on your back, a roof over your head and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75% of the world.
If you have any money in the bank, your wallet and some spare change in a dish someplace, you are among the top 8% of the world’s wealthy.
If you woke up this morning with more health than illness, you are more blessed than the million people who will not survive this week.
If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the agony of imprisonment or torture, or the horrible pangs of starvation, you are luckier than 500 million people alive going through this suffering.
If you can read this message you are more fortunate than the 3 billion people in the world who cannot read at all"
Musings
I've been reading a lot, about Malay stereotypes, and Muslim stereotypes. Been an eye-opener.
Westerners don't have to act high and mighty about their race being superior with the others. They can talk about Arab countries being anti-feminist and whatnot, but instead of butting into other people's problems, why not pay attention to their own issues? Like declining birthrates and extremely high cost of living.
Every race has their own weaknesses and strengths, so there's no use pointing fingers and blaming one another about a culture that they don't even know themselves.
As for Islam, there's one thing that's been bugging me for a long time. What is the official stance on homosexuality? I know it's forbidden and loathed, but I've never read a single good justification on why it should not be allowed. It's not a mental disorder, it's not an addiction -- it's an anomaly in the genes of humans and animals. So what happens to Muslims who are born gay? It really isn't their fault that their genes are messed up. Is this considered a test for them, to resist it until they die?
Okay fine, how about this? Homesexuality is compared to people born with a physical impairment -- for example, a blind person, or a person with deformed limbs. Both of them suffer through life for having less than 'normal' attributes -- it's just a matter of passing through life as a devoted Muslim, and then in the afterlife they are rewarded with things they could not do in their short human years. Because after all, in Islam life on earth is fleeting and materialistic, the true goal is Syurga. Syurga is what counts the most, even though they might have to suffer for around 60 ~ 80 years on Earth. Makes sense?
Okay I really need some sleep now.
Westerners don't have to act high and mighty about their race being superior with the others. They can talk about Arab countries being anti-feminist and whatnot, but instead of butting into other people's problems, why not pay attention to their own issues? Like declining birthrates and extremely high cost of living.
Every race has their own weaknesses and strengths, so there's no use pointing fingers and blaming one another about a culture that they don't even know themselves.
As for Islam, there's one thing that's been bugging me for a long time. What is the official stance on homosexuality? I know it's forbidden and loathed, but I've never read a single good justification on why it should not be allowed. It's not a mental disorder, it's not an addiction -- it's an anomaly in the genes of humans and animals. So what happens to Muslims who are born gay? It really isn't their fault that their genes are messed up. Is this considered a test for them, to resist it until they die?
Okay fine, how about this? Homesexuality is compared to people born with a physical impairment -- for example, a blind person, or a person with deformed limbs. Both of them suffer through life for having less than 'normal' attributes -- it's just a matter of passing through life as a devoted Muslim, and then in the afterlife they are rewarded with things they could not do in their short human years. Because after all, in Islam life on earth is fleeting and materialistic, the true goal is Syurga. Syurga is what counts the most, even though they might have to suffer for around 60 ~ 80 years on Earth. Makes sense?
Okay I really need some sleep now.
Malaysian stereotypes
How other countries view Malaysians:
Hmm... Agree? Disagree?
lazy; anxious; neurotic; manipulative; survive by cronyism and nepotism; introverted; have inferiority complex; arrogant; have speed traps everywhere; ultra-religious, but sell porn everywhere; inhospitable, hate Westerners; boring; have great varieties of food; embrace multi-culturalism; wear bright, colorful clothes; every long-term visitor is expected to convert to Islam; love to watch soap operas; men chauvinistic, have mistresses; women traditional but with modern thinking.
Hmm... Agree? Disagree?
Plato's Allegory of the Cave
Have you heard of the Allegory of the Cave?
(Watch it! It really makes you think!)
Plato imagines a group of people who have lived chained in a cave all of their lives, facing a blank wall. The people watch shadows projected on the wall by things passing in front of a fire behind them, and begin to ascribe forms to these shadows.
According to Plato, the shadows are as close as the prisoners get to seeing reality. He then explains how the philosopher is like a prisoner who is freed from the cave and comes to understand that the shadows on the wall are not constitutive of reality at all, as he can perceive the true form of reality rather than the mere shadows seen by the prisoners.
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What got me thinking that this is similar to religion and the Kafirs. People who don't understand the concept of religion will reject it before they can experience it, and will never be able to escape the shackles of their 'illusion'. In this case, their illusion is the material world -- money, pleasure and power. They can't -- and won't -- see beyond what they believe is to be true.
The prophets tried to enlighten the people in the 'cave', but they were called madmen instead, and was mocked and tortured for efforts.
--------
An example of this allegory is seen in The Matrix, in which the 'real' world is not real at all, but in fact a huge virtual illusion created by machines. The real world was overriden by machines a long time ago, and the they are plugging humans in the Matrix to generate bioelectricity, which keeps the machines running.
(Watch it! It really makes you think!)
Plato imagines a group of people who have lived chained in a cave all of their lives, facing a blank wall. The people watch shadows projected on the wall by things passing in front of a fire behind them, and begin to ascribe forms to these shadows.
According to Plato, the shadows are as close as the prisoners get to seeing reality. He then explains how the philosopher is like a prisoner who is freed from the cave and comes to understand that the shadows on the wall are not constitutive of reality at all, as he can perceive the true form of reality rather than the mere shadows seen by the prisoners.
---------
What got me thinking that this is similar to religion and the Kafirs. People who don't understand the concept of religion will reject it before they can experience it, and will never be able to escape the shackles of their 'illusion'. In this case, their illusion is the material world -- money, pleasure and power. They can't -- and won't -- see beyond what they believe is to be true.
The prophets tried to enlighten the people in the 'cave', but they were called madmen instead, and was mocked and tortured for efforts.
--------
An example of this allegory is seen in The Matrix, in which the 'real' world is not real at all, but in fact a huge virtual illusion created by machines. The real world was overriden by machines a long time ago, and the they are plugging humans in the Matrix to generate bioelectricity, which keeps the machines running.
Inspiring quotes
I was watching Animax channel while doing the laundry, and there was a feature on a guy who was a mecha toy designer and animator. I think I was inspired when he said:
"I love my job, that's why I work hard every day."
and,
"Do your best on something that is your strength."
That really is true. In architecture, we get frustrated when we can't become the superstar all-rounder person, because we're trained to be that. But I believe that everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, so instead of thinking that you're useless, think instead about the things that you do well.
I'm not really good at construction, so when I was working in the architecture firm, I was a bit frustrated with myself because of that. I got jaded and lost some of my enthusiasm on architecture (it really shows. I'm a bit apprehensive about studying again....).
But those are just challenges to me, and if I can't rise above that, what's the whole point of taking this route kan?
"I love my job, that's why I work hard every day."
and,
"Do your best on something that is your strength."
That really is true. In architecture, we get frustrated when we can't become the superstar all-rounder person, because we're trained to be that. But I believe that everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, so instead of thinking that you're useless, think instead about the things that you do well.
I'm not really good at construction, so when I was working in the architecture firm, I was a bit frustrated with myself because of that. I got jaded and lost some of my enthusiasm on architecture (it really shows. I'm a bit apprehensive about studying again....).
But those are just challenges to me, and if I can't rise above that, what's the whole point of taking this route kan?
Life is an RPG video game
Jo said something about how marriage is similar to playing a video game. It's like we're all trying to 'level up' to a certain stage of our life, and we feel threatened that everyone else has passed that stage but we're still stuck at level 4. I thought it was a great comparison. That got me thinking: hey, a video game represents LIFE itself, not just marriage. (sorry malas nak buat essay -- takleh nak pikir sgt pagi2 buta camni. Dahlah baru je kemas dapur and feed Eko and bakar kek)
1. Obviously we start off at the lowest stage possible, and then slowly gain skills and experience to level up. The beginning of a typical RPG has all these elements: a 'tutorial'/mentor to teach you the basics, low-levelled monsters where you can try your skills on, and the EXP (experience) points that you gain when you defeat a monster. Sounds familiar? It's like an allegory of a human being taught by their parents, going to school for exams, and getting experience as they get older.
2. As we go along, we recruit allies, to help us fight monsters and easily pass through stages. We can use those party members for our own benefit, to give extra support to our battles. That is similar to friends that we acquire as we go through our childhood.
3. We pass though generic stages like a marsh, desert, forest, abandoned castle, haunted woods, ancient high-civilization city, to learn more about the world that we are exploring. That's similar to acquiring knowledge and learn history and science, subjects that will help us get through life.
4. How many times have you been taken by surprise by a tough boss or a hidden trap, only to have the screen flash GAME OVER at you? The worst thing about this is that all your hard work and time spent into that (unsaved, duh) stage will be of nothing. Sometimes it even takes you many attempts to clear that stage, sometimes you give up. Giving up means it's the end forever, not giving up means leveling up to lvl 25 and get a sweet Aegis Shield too. I think you can already see the similarities to real life there. Persistence always will bear the fruits of success. Even if you get shot down and stepped on, all you have to do is just get up again.
5. How about those games where they keep multitudes of 'Easter eggs' and side quests and side characters and minigames for you to complete? No, they're not required to complete the game, but it may help to boost your own skills or battle power. Also, completing all those side quests gives you a feeling of satisfaction -- that you have already seen all that the game has to offer. It's akin to stopping at a garden on the way to work to 'smell the roses'. If you keep plodding ahead towards money and riches and power, you might miss the simple things in life that are worth living for.
6. If you are/used to be a gamer (even a light one), you'd understand when I say that video games can be a bit... 'melekakan.' Whenever Ramadhan and Syawal comes along, my strongest memories of this time of the month is -- yes you guessed it -- playing video games macam esok nak kiamat and nak habiskan that 30hours++ game within that day jugak. Since bulan puasa always coincided with school holidays, I would pass off going to terawih and sit in front of the PSone practicing my Bust a Groove dance skills. Sometimes I would play until the next morning, and pretend to sleep when my mom wakes up at 5am. If it's the school holidays, I'd even forget to bathe because I was too absorbed in the flashy FMV sequences. It's totally like that episode in the Big Bang Theory where Penny got caught up in a MMORPG and changed into a total slob. It's true. Really.
Well, this is also an allegory to life as well, believe it or not. We live in this world, as nomads travelling to a better place, aka Heaven. Everything is temporary and shallow. We can make our life on earth as meaningful as possible -- reach for the highest achievements, enjoy the nature thoroughly, love everyone -- but in the end, do not forget the 'main purpose why humans were created in this world'. Don't forget the spiritual. Same goes for video games. We can try to win the game and reach lvl 99 with maxed out stats and ultimate weapons, but don't sacrifice your sleep or health for an imaginary, fictional game.
... Man, all this talk about video games is making me crave for video games. Will now continue playing Riveria The Promised Land.
Just because UITM focuses more on construction doesn't mean it's subpar to 'design'-crazy schools
I went through a weird revelation today. I was messing around with Sketchup, designing a small kindergarten for a low-cost housing area. The architect had designed a version more impressive a few weeks ago, but was rejected by the principal for being too expensive/luxurious. So now my job was to dumb down the design (okaylar, tak sedap pulak cakap camtu... redesign is more like it) -- in a way that made the building still look nice, but with a decent construction cost.
So I was talking to the architect, and he was pointing out several construction inconsistencies, like misplaced gutter and unnecessary beams and columns. The weirdest thing is:
For the first time in my 4 years of architecture life, I could actually argue back at the architect about the construction! Suddenly I realized I had perfectly sound reasons why I placed the roof there, or where I put the gutter. I could even sketch the section of where the rain will fall into the gutter, and the detail of the UPVC pipe that will be embedded in the columns -- Sangatlah pelik dan creepy.
I don't want to admit it but.... those two-and-one-quarter gruelling months of doing nothing but designing plans and working drawings of big-scale buildings with flat roofs has actually helped me a lot. A LOT. Thanks uncle *mumbles under breath*. Even though I whine on and on about your firm, the knowledge gained is still precious.
And designing buildings is even more fun when you actually know how to build it! To compare designing buildings with cooking -- when you know the recipes and knowledge of various spices/seasonings, you get to create delicious-tasting original dishes. Same goes with architecture. You know how to design a pitched or flat roof, a suspended floor, skin structures... All those little information are merged into one entity -- which in itself becomes something wholly new. Argh and now I'm babbling.
To those 'schools' who thinks that design is the all and end-all holy grail of architecture, think again. Do you want to be one of those architects who 'sits in the front row' (damn geram bila Feera cite pasal interview tu... grrr), designing crazy futuristic designs, but rely completely on engineers to realize their half-baked construction design...
Or become the truest manifestation of the term 'architect' -- the one who knows and can do everything by themselves? The 'creator'?
So I was talking to the architect, and he was pointing out several construction inconsistencies, like misplaced gutter and unnecessary beams and columns. The weirdest thing is:
For the first time in my 4 years of architecture life, I could actually argue back at the architect about the construction! Suddenly I realized I had perfectly sound reasons why I placed the roof there, or where I put the gutter. I could even sketch the section of where the rain will fall into the gutter, and the detail of the UPVC pipe that will be embedded in the columns -- Sangatlah pelik dan creepy.
I don't want to admit it but.... those two-and-one-quarter gruelling months of doing nothing but designing plans and working drawings of big-scale buildings with flat roofs has actually helped me a lot. A LOT. Thanks uncle *mumbles under breath*. Even though I whine on and on about your firm, the knowledge gained is still precious.
And designing buildings is even more fun when you actually know how to build it! To compare designing buildings with cooking -- when you know the recipes and knowledge of various spices/seasonings, you get to create delicious-tasting original dishes. Same goes with architecture. You know how to design a pitched or flat roof, a suspended floor, skin structures... All those little information are merged into one entity -- which in itself becomes something wholly new. Argh and now I'm babbling.
To those 'schools' who thinks that design is the all and end-all holy grail of architecture, think again. Do you want to be one of those architects who 'sits in the front row' (damn geram bila Feera cite pasal interview tu... grrr), designing crazy futuristic designs, but rely completely on engineers to realize their half-baked construction design...
Or become the truest manifestation of the term 'architect' -- the one who knows and can do everything by themselves? The 'creator'?
Come one, come all -- Into 1984
It's funny -- I'd been reading books about how people are being 'manufactured' or mass-produced in future; cultivated inside test-tubes, raised in laboratories and only live to fulfill the community's need of workers to sustain the economy. They've lost all sense of self, freedom, individualism and feelings.
All these books have one thing in common -- a dystopia set in the not-too distant future on earth.
A dystopia can basically be explained as an 'utopia' gone wrong. All the things that humans have been trying to achieve since the beginning of time -- peace, happiness, comfort -- at the expense of individuality, religion, freedom and love.
Back in the 1930s - 40s -- people were afraid that technology and science would bring the downfall of humanity. All those talk about age of machines, Le Corbusier's modernist buildings, and mass-production...
People believed that in the future, humans will be mass-produced the same way pills and machine parts are being made. We will slowly lose our sense of self -- in order for harmony and sameness. Just like mass-produced parts, when there are defects in the human being (mental problem, physical deformity, rebellious behaviour...), it will be eliminated.
Scary thought, ain't it?
With this awareness people of the 1960s - 70s wrote books about dystopias and the loss of freedom in humanity. People living like machines, all conforming to the societal rules set upon them. Creativity and individuality will be discarded. People will be all the same.
However. It's funnier to know how the real future ended up being exactly the opposite of that imagined dystopia future.
With the invention of the Internet, it celebrates individualism more than ever.
Look at Youtube. Everyone wants to become famous. All kinds of creativity is being harnessed in the Internet. Video-making, singing, acting, cooking, writing novels, selling clothes... the list is endless.
With Wikipedia, people have more access to information; instantly and freely, too. With the chat feature, people are more aware of the different races and religion in the world. Having the advantage of being anonymous online brings out a sense of freedom in speech and opinion.
In fact, logically it's not possible for humans to live like machines. First of all, we're too selfish to want a society like that. Secondly, humans are never satisfied. Even if they have everything in the world, they want more. How can humans settle for something as restricting and conforming as that? Thirdly, if it *does* happen, God will strike down that society anyways.
P.S: I've just realized that Incubus' 'Talk Show on Mute (1984)' is probably based on a novel called 1984 by George Orwell (FREAKIN' GREAT BOOK. READ IT) The song really does suit the tone of the book.
All these books have one thing in common -- a dystopia set in the not-too distant future on earth.
A dystopia can basically be explained as an 'utopia' gone wrong. All the things that humans have been trying to achieve since the beginning of time -- peace, happiness, comfort -- at the expense of individuality, religion, freedom and love.
Back in the 1930s - 40s -- people were afraid that technology and science would bring the downfall of humanity. All those talk about age of machines, Le Corbusier's modernist buildings, and mass-production...
People believed that in the future, humans will be mass-produced the same way pills and machine parts are being made. We will slowly lose our sense of self -- in order for harmony and sameness. Just like mass-produced parts, when there are defects in the human being (mental problem, physical deformity, rebellious behaviour...), it will be eliminated.
Scary thought, ain't it?
With this awareness people of the 1960s - 70s wrote books about dystopias and the loss of freedom in humanity. People living like machines, all conforming to the societal rules set upon them. Creativity and individuality will be discarded. People will be all the same.
However. It's funnier to know how the real future ended up being exactly the opposite of that imagined dystopia future.
With the invention of the Internet, it celebrates individualism more than ever.
Look at Youtube. Everyone wants to become famous. All kinds of creativity is being harnessed in the Internet. Video-making, singing, acting, cooking, writing novels, selling clothes... the list is endless.
With Wikipedia, people have more access to information; instantly and freely, too. With the chat feature, people are more aware of the different races and religion in the world. Having the advantage of being anonymous online brings out a sense of freedom in speech and opinion.
In fact, logically it's not possible for humans to live like machines. First of all, we're too selfish to want a society like that. Secondly, humans are never satisfied. Even if they have everything in the world, they want more. How can humans settle for something as restricting and conforming as that? Thirdly, if it *does* happen, God will strike down that society anyways.
P.S: I've just realized that Incubus' 'Talk Show on Mute (1984)' is probably based on a novel called 1984 by George Orwell (FREAKIN' GREAT BOOK. READ IT) The song really does suit the tone of the book.
How I came to like architecture
I had always imagined myself sitting with my kids, talking about the past. I'm not much of a storyteller, but I do have a knack of getting passionate when I talk about things I like. There's a particular story that I keep repeating in my head, waiting for the day that I can finally tell it to my offsprings (cewah offsprings konon. Cari jodoh dulu boleh tak??)
I've always loved my Uncle Zul's new house in Jalan Padi Huma, Johor Bahru. Well, it was new at the time. It was Hari Raya 1999 -- He had just built it, and I could easily feel the freshness of the concrete, the gloss of the timber, and the grandeur of the spaces.
I was 12 then. Do you remember those funny Slambooks we used to write in back then? Whenever a question regarding my dream occupation cropped up, I would immediately write 'interior designer'. Looking back, I don't even remember why I wrote that. I asked my mom, and she just shrugged it off, saying that 'designing' had always been in my genes. Heck, I wanted to become an interior designer when I was 9! What kind of grade-school kid would actually think of writing such an obscure, unpopular occupation?? It's like a 9-year-old saying that she wants to become a neurologist!
Anyways, where was I? Ah, yes. My uncle's house. It was Hari Raya 1999, and I was exploring the house with my many cousins and siblings. That's when I stumbled into the toilet.
The toilet, of all things. While washing my hands, I was so struck with awe at the ceilings of the toilet. It was just a mere toilet (how many times have I said that word, again?), but there was effort to decorate the ceiling with plaster frieze.
That was when I realized that architects have the power to control the sensitivity, the softness, the amount of detail of a certain space. They had the power to magically create and manipulate atmosphere for people. I was, literally, blown away. I stepped out of the toilet thinking to myself: "Okay, this is who I want to be. I want to control people's emotions and feelings. I want to make magic. Through architecture."
Ever since then, whenever they pass around Slambooks, I would write 'architect' in place of 'interior designer'. And my friends would look at me like I've grown three horns on my head and go "Whaaaat? What's an architect, Shaza?"
Sometimes, I think I mistook interior design for architecture during that pivotal time of my life. I was never impressed by huge, pompous buildings -- I was more touched by the quiet, subtleness of the spaces within. But then again, who's to say interior design is not part of architecture as a whole? And now that I'm more knowledgeble, I realize that what inspired me to become an architect was THE fundamental rule of architecture -- Build buildings not for yourself, but for people.
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Well on a lighter note, I visited that same 'life-changing' toilet yesterday. It was kinda nostalgic.
But then again, I was like "Wtf biasa je tandas ni! How did I actually come up with an inspiration here anyways??" haha.
I've always loved my Uncle Zul's new house in Jalan Padi Huma, Johor Bahru. Well, it was new at the time. It was Hari Raya 1999 -- He had just built it, and I could easily feel the freshness of the concrete, the gloss of the timber, and the grandeur of the spaces.
I was 12 then. Do you remember those funny Slambooks we used to write in back then? Whenever a question regarding my dream occupation cropped up, I would immediately write 'interior designer'. Looking back, I don't even remember why I wrote that. I asked my mom, and she just shrugged it off, saying that 'designing' had always been in my genes. Heck, I wanted to become an interior designer when I was 9! What kind of grade-school kid would actually think of writing such an obscure, unpopular occupation?? It's like a 9-year-old saying that she wants to become a neurologist!
Anyways, where was I? Ah, yes. My uncle's house. It was Hari Raya 1999, and I was exploring the house with my many cousins and siblings. That's when I stumbled into the toilet.
The toilet, of all things. While washing my hands, I was so struck with awe at the ceilings of the toilet. It was just a mere toilet (how many times have I said that word, again?), but there was effort to decorate the ceiling with plaster frieze.
That was when I realized that architects have the power to control the sensitivity, the softness, the amount of detail of a certain space. They had the power to magically create and manipulate atmosphere for people. I was, literally, blown away. I stepped out of the toilet thinking to myself: "Okay, this is who I want to be. I want to control people's emotions and feelings. I want to make magic. Through architecture."
Ever since then, whenever they pass around Slambooks, I would write 'architect' in place of 'interior designer'. And my friends would look at me like I've grown three horns on my head and go "Whaaaat? What's an architect, Shaza?"
Sometimes, I think I mistook interior design for architecture during that pivotal time of my life. I was never impressed by huge, pompous buildings -- I was more touched by the quiet, subtleness of the spaces within. But then again, who's to say interior design is not part of architecture as a whole? And now that I'm more knowledgeble, I realize that what inspired me to become an architect was THE fundamental rule of architecture -- Build buildings not for yourself, but for people.
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Well on a lighter note, I visited that same 'life-changing' toilet yesterday. It was kinda nostalgic.
But then again, I was like "Wtf biasa je tandas ni! How did I actually come up with an inspiration here anyways??" haha.
'A's in SPM -- Gotta catch 'em all!
What do you think about the decision to limit 10 subjects for SPM?
I think it's a super duper great idea! No more parents pressuring you to collect as many As as possible... no more competitions on who gets the most.
We don't go to school to become supercomputers, where we're expected to know every single damn thing about this universe. AND memorize them and spit it out on exam papers.
At the end of the day, you collect all those As and then half of them is wasted when you finally pursue your chosen career. Like for example -- you take geography for SPM, and go on to become a gynaecologist, wtf??! And gaining knowledge is about being personally passionate about it, learning slowly and deeply -- not proving to the world that you can memorize textbooks of the subject within 6 months.
I'm especially frustrated with the trend of collecting As for SPM that kids strive to achieve nowdays (ah, talking like an old fart now), because not everyone has the brains of a rocket scientist. What happens to the kids who excel in sports but not literature? What about kids who are exceptionally talented in art but is weak in science?
How many As you get for your SPM exams won't define who you become later in life. People can get 2As and still climb the corporate ladder and become a CEO of a company, why not? They can do really well in university and enter the engineering or medicine course later on, why not?
If the school institution can tap into each student's potential skills and abilities, and guide them to fields that are suitable for them, I'm sure education in Malaysia will improve tremendously.
But it seems like wishful thinking right?
I think it's a super duper great idea! No more parents pressuring you to collect as many As as possible... no more competitions on who gets the most.
We don't go to school to become supercomputers, where we're expected to know every single damn thing about this universe. AND memorize them and spit it out on exam papers.
At the end of the day, you collect all those As and then half of them is wasted when you finally pursue your chosen career. Like for example -- you take geography for SPM, and go on to become a gynaecologist, wtf??! And gaining knowledge is about being personally passionate about it, learning slowly and deeply -- not proving to the world that you can memorize textbooks of the subject within 6 months.
I'm especially frustrated with the trend of collecting As for SPM that kids strive to achieve nowdays (ah, talking like an old fart now), because not everyone has the brains of a rocket scientist. What happens to the kids who excel in sports but not literature? What about kids who are exceptionally talented in art but is weak in science?
How many As you get for your SPM exams won't define who you become later in life. People can get 2As and still climb the corporate ladder and become a CEO of a company, why not? They can do really well in university and enter the engineering or medicine course later on, why not?
If the school institution can tap into each student's potential skills and abilities, and guide them to fields that are suitable for them, I'm sure education in Malaysia will improve tremendously.
But it seems like wishful thinking right?
English
Do you think it's fair...?
People who are able to speak proficient English in Malaysia are considered superior to those who can't. They are viewed as intellectual and cultured, and are favoured more in the work force.
Let's take Girl A and Girl B as an example. Girl A was born with a silver spoon -- she grew up in the States; her parents frequently conversed with her in English, she was exposed to English-speaking friends in school and travelled around the world to the UK, Europe and Canada. Now compare that to Girl B, a rural-born Malay girl who grew up in a community where everyone speaks Malay.
And you expect that both girls will have equal English skills by the time they enter university?
Just because they don't speak perfect English doesn't mean that they don't have the same passion, intellectual knowledge or skills as the English-proficient ones.
Why do we have to be condemned for poor English, when in fact, we are from a country that ORIGINALLY DOES NOT SPEAK ENGLISH AS A FIRST LANGUAGE.
How come the Japanese, Germans and French are able to be proud of their own language, but we can't do the same?
People who are able to speak proficient English in Malaysia are considered superior to those who can't. They are viewed as intellectual and cultured, and are favoured more in the work force.
Let's take Girl A and Girl B as an example. Girl A was born with a silver spoon -- she grew up in the States; her parents frequently conversed with her in English, she was exposed to English-speaking friends in school and travelled around the world to the UK, Europe and Canada. Now compare that to Girl B, a rural-born Malay girl who grew up in a community where everyone speaks Malay.
And you expect that both girls will have equal English skills by the time they enter university?
Just because they don't speak perfect English doesn't mean that they don't have the same passion, intellectual knowledge or skills as the English-proficient ones.
Why do we have to be condemned for poor English, when in fact, we are from a country that ORIGINALLY DOES NOT SPEAK ENGLISH AS A FIRST LANGUAGE.
How come the Japanese, Germans and French are able to be proud of their own language, but we can't do the same?
The outside circle
The nicest thing about Malaysia is the diversity of the races.
Growing up in Hartamas, we were a mix-and-match of different races and religions. Yet we rarely shun each other from our cliques.
When I entered UITM, I kinda got a culture shock (I know, I know, laaame) because I have never been in a place where it was dominated by a single race. And the funny thing is, I'm a Malay myself.
I remember back then in school -- I disliked hanging out with the Malays in my class. Not because I didn't like them, but because I had nothing to talk to them about. And I couldn't even phrase a single decent Malay sentence without sounding like a Sejarah textbook, what else trying to form a conversation with them??
My school best friends were a Malay (Millz), an Indian (Parvathi), then Sabahan (Maz) and finally Chinese (Joanna). I was a Librarian, where it was dominated by the Chinese and Indians, and the amount of Malays can be counted by one hand. During classes, I'd almost always group with Lee and Yao.
Back then I was annoyed by people who stuck to their own races and refused to explore furthur. Haaa tu la kutuk2 orang lagi, in the end I got divine retribution and was placed in UITM the land of the Malays. Yes Shaza, eat your socks out.
But then again, hanging out with people the same religion and ethinicity has its benefits too. Like going to bazaar ramadhans, open houses in Hari Raya, and sharing the same mindset and culture.
People say you can't have the best of both worlds, so am I greedy to want both??
Growing up in Hartamas, we were a mix-and-match of different races and religions. Yet we rarely shun each other from our cliques.
When I entered UITM, I kinda got a culture shock (I know, I know, laaame) because I have never been in a place where it was dominated by a single race. And the funny thing is, I'm a Malay myself.
I remember back then in school -- I disliked hanging out with the Malays in my class. Not because I didn't like them, but because I had nothing to talk to them about. And I couldn't even phrase a single decent Malay sentence without sounding like a Sejarah textbook, what else trying to form a conversation with them??
My school best friends were a Malay (Millz), an Indian (Parvathi), then Sabahan (Maz) and finally Chinese (Joanna). I was a Librarian, where it was dominated by the Chinese and Indians, and the amount of Malays can be counted by one hand. During classes, I'd almost always group with Lee and Yao.
Back then I was annoyed by people who stuck to their own races and refused to explore furthur. Haaa tu la kutuk2 orang lagi, in the end I got divine retribution and was placed in UITM the land of the Malays. Yes Shaza, eat your socks out.
But then again, hanging out with people the same religion and ethinicity has its benefits too. Like going to bazaar ramadhans, open houses in Hari Raya, and sharing the same mindset and culture.
People say you can't have the best of both worlds, so am I greedy to want both??
Of Dreams and Reality
I was bored the other day and decided to look up 'lucid dreaming' on Wikipedia, because I am a general knowledge-geek and have nothing better to do than read weird articles on the internet.
Back in high school, my mom would order books from Reader's Digest and one of them happened to be 'Making The Most of Your Brain' or something like that. One of the articles that caught my attention was obviously about lucid dreaming (hell, I even used the article for my SPM english oral test) but until now I still can't achieve that lucidity in my dreams. I must suck at controlling my dreams =/
Do you know what is lucid dreaming?
LUCID DREAMING
It's a state where you are dreaming while knowing that you are dreaming.
It usually happens when the person realizes that what he is doing right then is impossible or illogical, and he grasps the fact that he is still asleep in bed.
Lucidity is not dream control. Dream control means you can control the contents of the dream, whereas lucid dreaming is just a state where you are aware that you are dreaming, but is still possible to perform certain feats, like flying. Of course, you can influence the course of events to your liking, therefore in ways you can change the settings of your dream, yourselves, or even your dream characters.
In a way, lucid dreaming is an answer for those who suffer from nightmares and reoccuring dreams, as well as therapy for stressful people.
----------------------------------
One of the first thoughts you'd have when you 'realize' your lucid dreaming, is:
"Am I really dreaming or not??"
Usually, this is a common occurance in 'false awakening', where you believe that you've woken up but in reality you are still trapped in the frame of your dream. Here are some reality checks to see if you're really awake:
REALITY CHECKS
- Pinch your cheeks. If it feels weird or different, you are still asleep.
- Pinch your nose. If you can still breathe without your mouth, you are still asleep.
- Look at a digital watch, remember the number, look away and then look back at the watch. In a dream, the numbers will appear randomly everytime you look away and back at it. Sometimes it will contain weird symbols or characters.
- If your reflection in the mirror is blurry, distorted or frightening, it is a dream.
- If you flip a light switch and the level of light doesn't change, it is a dream.
- Pick up a book and look inside. If the pages are blank or change at the second look, it is a dream.
- Look at your clothes. If it too large/small, out of the ordinary or not there at all, you are still dreaming.
------------------------------
There are methods of achieving lucid dreams, if you're interested you can check out this site; it is a community for lucid dreamers which shares tips and experiences of their dreams.
------------------------------
While we are on the topic of dreams, do you know that dreams can also be problem-solving as well?
History records a lot of famous dreams from scientists/musicians/physicists/designers that helped them invent something new or give them inspiration by interpreting their dreams.
FAMOUS DREAMS
- Paul McCartney from the Beetles woke up with a beautiful tune playing in his head, and it became the song 'Yesterday'.
- Author Mary Shelley's work 'Frankenstein' was inspired from a dream.
- Friedrich August Kekulé von Stradonitz was studying about the chemical structure of Benzene and was in a slump when he dreamt about a snake circling and biting its own tail, which led him to discover that the Benzene molecule, which unlike other known organic compounds, had a circular structure rather than a linear one.
- Elias Howe dreamt that cannibals were dancing around him with spears that have a hole at the tips. That led him to incorporate a hole into the edge of the sewing needle, thus creating the sewing machine.
- Albert Einstein's theory of relativity was inspired by a dream whereby he was going down a mountainside ever faster, watching the appearance of the stars change as he approached the speed of light.
----------------------------------------
Dreams have always fascinated me. There are times when I can't separate dreams from reality, and even now I believe that it may have happened. Sometimes the dreams are prophetic, a small glimpse into the future. Sometimes the dream serves to remind you of something that is unconsciously bothering you.
I used to have nightmares when I was a child, but once I got into UITM I stopped having them altogether. My current dreams are boring, everyday life situations that are mostly conversations, and even if it is out-of-the-ordinary the dream is never unpleasant. Well, I guess I should be thankful for that.
How many of you guys have dreamt of 'The End of the World aka Kiamat?'
I know I have. Mine was a world of a dying sun, the surroundings tinted a reddish colour, with chaos and destruction everywhere.
The World of Charn from Narnia?
C'mon, 'fess up.
Back in high school, my mom would order books from Reader's Digest and one of them happened to be 'Making The Most of Your Brain' or something like that. One of the articles that caught my attention was obviously about lucid dreaming (hell, I even used the article for my SPM english oral test) but until now I still can't achieve that lucidity in my dreams. I must suck at controlling my dreams =/
Do you know what is lucid dreaming?
LUCID DREAMING
It's a state where you are dreaming while knowing that you are dreaming.
It usually happens when the person realizes that what he is doing right then is impossible or illogical, and he grasps the fact that he is still asleep in bed.
Lucidity is not dream control. Dream control means you can control the contents of the dream, whereas lucid dreaming is just a state where you are aware that you are dreaming, but is still possible to perform certain feats, like flying. Of course, you can influence the course of events to your liking, therefore in ways you can change the settings of your dream, yourselves, or even your dream characters.
In a way, lucid dreaming is an answer for those who suffer from nightmares and reoccuring dreams, as well as therapy for stressful people.
----------------------------------
One of the first thoughts you'd have when you 'realize' your lucid dreaming, is:
"Am I really dreaming or not??"
Usually, this is a common occurance in 'false awakening', where you believe that you've woken up but in reality you are still trapped in the frame of your dream. Here are some reality checks to see if you're really awake:
REALITY CHECKS
- Pinch your cheeks. If it feels weird or different, you are still asleep.
- Pinch your nose. If you can still breathe without your mouth, you are still asleep.
- Look at a digital watch, remember the number, look away and then look back at the watch. In a dream, the numbers will appear randomly everytime you look away and back at it. Sometimes it will contain weird symbols or characters.
- If your reflection in the mirror is blurry, distorted or frightening, it is a dream.
- If you flip a light switch and the level of light doesn't change, it is a dream.
- Pick up a book and look inside. If the pages are blank or change at the second look, it is a dream.
- Look at your clothes. If it too large/small, out of the ordinary or not there at all, you are still dreaming.
------------------------------
There are methods of achieving lucid dreams, if you're interested you can check out this site; it is a community for lucid dreamers which shares tips and experiences of their dreams.
------------------------------
While we are on the topic of dreams, do you know that dreams can also be problem-solving as well?
History records a lot of famous dreams from scientists/musicians/physicists/designers that helped them invent something new or give them inspiration by interpreting their dreams.
FAMOUS DREAMS
- Paul McCartney from the Beetles woke up with a beautiful tune playing in his head, and it became the song 'Yesterday'.
- Author Mary Shelley's work 'Frankenstein' was inspired from a dream.
- Friedrich August Kekulé von Stradonitz was studying about the chemical structure of Benzene and was in a slump when he dreamt about a snake circling and biting its own tail, which led him to discover that the Benzene molecule, which unlike other known organic compounds, had a circular structure rather than a linear one.
- Elias Howe dreamt that cannibals were dancing around him with spears that have a hole at the tips. That led him to incorporate a hole into the edge of the sewing needle, thus creating the sewing machine.
- Albert Einstein's theory of relativity was inspired by a dream whereby he was going down a mountainside ever faster, watching the appearance of the stars change as he approached the speed of light.
----------------------------------------
Dreams have always fascinated me. There are times when I can't separate dreams from reality, and even now I believe that it may have happened. Sometimes the dreams are prophetic, a small glimpse into the future. Sometimes the dream serves to remind you of something that is unconsciously bothering you.
I used to have nightmares when I was a child, but once I got into UITM I stopped having them altogether. My current dreams are boring, everyday life situations that are mostly conversations, and even if it is out-of-the-ordinary the dream is never unpleasant. Well, I guess I should be thankful for that.
How many of you guys have dreamt of 'The End of the World aka Kiamat?'
I know I have. Mine was a world of a dying sun, the surroundings tinted a reddish colour, with chaos and destruction everywhere.
The World of Charn from Narnia?C'mon, 'fess up.
